Yes, Pure Michigan

Is it Spring yet?  Nothing says a fresh, New Year better than the tease of spring.  Having been born on the first day of spring, which depending on which calendar you’re looking at could be fact or lie, I’ve always been fond of the season of new beginnings.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those individuals who hates winter and complains every time a snowstorm blows in, however this late in the winter season, I think it’s only normal for people to be waiting, wishing, hoping for a change in season.  After all, that’s what is so great about living in Michigan, the change of seasons.  Winter, spring, summer and fall are all prevalent in this great lakes state, reason 106 why I love living here.  Despite popular belief, it’s not winter here 24-7 and we actually have some of the most beautiful summer destinations around, including but not limited to the Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes in northwest Michigan, which was recently voted Good Morning America’s number one  ‘most beautiful place in America.’  Despite our lackluster economy, Michigan is comprised of so much more than the auto industry and home of the great lakes.  Michigan is an extremely diverse land and population, complied of: yoopers from the Upper Peninsula, the entertainment mecca in Detroit, little Bavaria in Frankenmuth, the Mighty Mac, four pro-sports teams and countless areas throughout the entire state, rich in history and pride.  To me, Michigan is a place I’m glad to call home.  

“We judge as important what the media judges as important”

“We judge as important what the media judges as important”

This blog is an excerpt from my very last undergrad paper I wrote at University of Michigan-Flint last year, in reference to the agenda setting theory and current events.  Popularized in 1972, Maxwell McCombs and Donald Shaw were interested in the overwhelming influence of mass media’s ability to transfer the salience of issues on their news agenda to public agenda.

In October of this year there were two big stories to cover in media, one was the political storm of the presidential race and the other was an actual storm named Sandy.    As both storms were gaining momentum, the media quickly found themselves in the crosswinds of a headline battle.  Suddenly a decision was forced to be made by media outlets as to which story trumped the other, in so far as which story was more prominent, frequent and how much time and energy was devoted to that particular story, hence the media’s agenda, which was exactly what Shaw and McComb look to uncover in their theory.  

While some individuals (the media) could argue that preparations for hurricane sandy were less important than election coverage, I think the majority of people would think the opposite.  After all, people’s health, well-being and lives are in jeopardy.

Whether you call it the effects of global warming, climate change or the Mayan’s doomsday, Natural Disasters are on the rise and it’s important that the media serves as a catalyst for the proper recovery efforts and particularly preparation warnings and strategies for the betterment of society.   

-“As natural and human-produced disasters increase around the world, public health messages promoting local preparedness and coordinating expert planning efforts are increasingly important.”  American Journal of Public Health

In addition to Hurricane Sandy, it has been estimated that over the ten year span between 2000-2010, approx. 5,000 natural disaster affected more than 2.2 billion people worldwide, killing approx. 850,000. These stats are quite staggering.  It’s becoming more and more obvious that there’s definitely a cause for concern and government officials and citizens alike are beginning to take notice.

When natural disasters are imminent, disaster preparations need to set precedent in the media’s coverage above other seemingly less important headlines that are not life threatening of alerting. This wasn’t the case for many media outlets in October of 2012.

To demonstrate the considerable difference between media’s agenda of prevention strategies and the severe outcomes of natural disasters, one needs to look no further than the most reliable name in news, CNN.  Looking through CNN’s archives, despite solid weeks’ notice from field professionals that Sandy was on her way, I located only about 30 articles about preparations. After Sandy hit, there were over 275 headlines articles, confirming the theory, “if it bleeds it leads”.

Perhaps even more surprising was comparing election headlines to sandy headlines. I was able to locate more than twice the amount of headlines referencing the election than those headlines for sandy’s preparation.  Those headlines that were present reflected headlines that read “Obama monitors hurricane, campaign says it will remain at full speed.” i.e.-government agenda=media agenda.

What this meant was on October 29^th when Sandy pounded the U.S., many citizens in the densely populated areas of east coast were ill-prepared.  According to climate and weather specialists, Sandy brought with her more than 15 inches of rain, wind gusts upwards of 90 mph, dumped nearly 3 feet of snow and most chocking was the near 15 feet ocean tides. Her stat’s are a prime indicator as how important prevention strategies are in the media.

Further, after the disaster hits, when dispersing relief aid information and progress, the media mustn’t over sensationalize effects of the disaster.  Clearly this can be damaging to the media’s reputation and credibility, (chicken little), the public may not listen next time there’s a real imminent danger.

While predicting natural disaster may not always be 100% accurate, technology has really upped the ante as far as their accuracy to inform society of the imminent and increasing threats to civilization.  Perhaps media news outlets should look to Bloomberg Businessweek and their exuberant magazine cover that simply stated “It’s Global Warming Stupid,” I'm sure that headline surely grabbed people’s attention.  

Regret & Happiness

I heard on a radio station the other day that people who were aware of the fact they were nearing the end of their lives, many shared a common regret, which was not allowing themselves to be happy.  The study found that most people become complacent in various areas of their lives, thus never allowing themselves to truly be happy.  I have to be honest, I was a little surprised that MANY shared this similar regret, for one is only as happy as they allow themselves to be; the only thing holding one back from being happy is them.  Sure there are several factors that can attribute to bad days, bad moods, small stints of ‘funk,’ however at the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide what makes you happy and to fulfill those needs.   I’m fascinated as to how people have the inability to laugh, let loose or find the everyday beauty and joy that life has to offer.  I too have been in dark places, however I was hell bent on getting myself out of those miserable places, dire to find true happiness again.  When I’m nearing the end of my life, I’m sure I’ll have the typical I wish I sky jumped, or I never forgave so and so, but I really hope I never find myself in the same boat as the individuals in this recent study, yearning for happiness that’s perhaps too little, too late.  

#AfterNewtown

I watched a segment at 4am this morning on PBS regarding Adam Lanza and the unforgettable Sandy Hook tragedy.  I’m typically not an early bird, however I was absolutely enthralled in what I was watching.  Beyond the realms of how truly fucked our present day society is, with media sensationalizing,  combined with lack of attention from peers, parents and other such guardians to teach, acknowledge and properly care for troubled individuals, we’re left with a society torn on gun control and what should occur.  While I’m not about to get into a lengthy gun debate, I can tell you one thing; the status quo is not working.   This issue is so precarious, words literally escape me.  However, I want to end with something that I heard from one of the PBS journalist’s which I believe is the truth: ‘it’s not metal detectors we need to detect guns, rather what we need are people detectors.’ 

I highly recommend catching the segment: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/raising-adam-lanza/?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=&utm_campaign=

Service Industry Truths

I recently read an article about President Obama increasing the federal minimum wage, including those continuously overlooked employees in the service industry whose dismal wage, well below the standard minimum age, is also due for an increase.  Kudos, about damn time.  This reminded me of an essay, or more like a non-fictional account of my life I had to write for a class at UM-Flint in 2008.  Putting in nearly 10 years with the service industry is something I definitely don't regret,  however it's certainly something I'll never forget, if you've worked in the industry before, you should find this amusing, enjoy!

One Tough Gig

Since when can I ask did manners go out of style?  There’s absolutely nothing that perturbs me more than rude, cheap people and there’s nowhere perhaps more accustomed to seeing both rude and cheap people than waiting tables or bartending.  Trust me, I speak from experience.

Allow me to set the scenario for you.  A couple walks in and sits at your table.  Peering from behind the wait station you try to guess what kind of mood these people are going to be in, but you really have no clue what you’re about to get yourself into.  Walking up to the table in a light, peppy step you greet the folks and then all of a sudden, it’s as if time has stood still. 

“Good afternoon folks, my name is Lisa how are you doing this lovely day?”  Crickets can be heard chirping outside.  Then suddenly, their mouth begins to open, waiting in anticipation and a smile on your face, their response is “Can I get a coffee?”   You immediately realize that this is going to really be an enjoyable experience for all parties involved. 

So you walk away with your slightly less peppy step to grab the coffees.  Walking back to the table you deliver the coffee and begin your typical spiel about today’s catch of the day!  In the middle of explaining the sale price on crab legs, you’re immediately cut off mid-sentence with; “We’re only here for the coffee.”  One word pops into your head, unbelievable.  The next words you would like to say is, “Mannerisms are also on special today, would you like a cup or two?” But you don’t, you simply nod and walk back to your venting area, better known as the kitchen. 

Approximately twenty minutes go by and another familiar scenario walks through the door; the family of five with two toddlers, an infant and of course the mom and dad who appear to already be arguing.  Approaching this lively bunch you quickly realize that this table is going to be quite the contrary of the last table you waited on. 

“We want Mountain Dew!”  exclaims the kids.  The mother looks at you and says “they’ll both have water.”  Dad pipes up and say’s “C’mon let them have a Mountain Dew, they’ve been good today.”  Then it hits you, oh no, world war three is upon us.  After an awkward minute or two of intense arguing and kicks under the table, you are finally able to get their drink order.  

After delivering the drinks to their table, you walk away and give them a much needed minute or two to figure out their food order.  A few minutes go by and you start back towards the table and suddenly you’re a bit puzzled at what that you see on the table.  Immediately you realize that the children are building this gigantic castle, made of coffee creamers and packets of sugar.  After finishing up their food order, you ask the mother if she would like you get the children some coloring books and crayons, assuming the kids must be bored out of their minds.  “They’re fine!”  Terrific, you think to yourself, just go ahead and let them keep building Buckingham Palace there on the table.  The children and the father all state in amazement at the woman, the tension could be cut with a knife. 

“You know what you could get me though, are some crackers for my baby.”  You do as you’re told keeping in mind the nice tip that will be waiting for you after the great food and service they receive. 

Dinner is finished.  The table looks as if a bomb of ketchup, mustard and creamers exploded on it.   The kids are running around like a bunch of wild hyenas.  It appears as if a saltine cracker tornado just ravaged across the carpet.  Is that creamer on the ceiling?  In disbelief, you deliver them their bill and wait patiently for them to leave.  These troops really should retreat back to their safe haven, wherever that is.

Now you’re approaching a deserted battlefield, when in astonishment you stop dead in your tracks and peer down at the $2.50 tip lying on top.  The bill was $60.00 and they left a $2.50 tip.  You’re quickly reminded by a fellow waiter that you make less than $3.00 an hour for that?  Your blood begins to boil. 

Do people really think that a $2.00ish tip is the standard for a dinner out?  Perhaps they simply don’t have a lot of money?  I get that.  Trust me, I totally understand, but then perhaps you should stop and ask yourself if going to the restaurant for $60.00 is a good idea before you jump in the car. 

After a long and exhausting day, your shift finally comes to an end.  Walking towards the door you peer over and see the old couple from earlier in the day still sitting in their booth, over welcoming their stay and definitely exhausting the coffee supply.  You stop and ask yourself if you should wait until they leave to collect your tip, yet just then you’re quickly reminded of the events from earlier and conclude that the estimated $.10 tip wouldn’t benefit much to your college tuition.  With less than $25.00 in your pocket and your spirits worn thin, you climb into your car, drive to the nearest gas station and pick up a newspaper, because after a shift like that, want ads are sounding pretty tempting. 

Friendships; Progression & Regression

“Best friends are people you don’t need to talk to every single day.  You don’t need to talk to each other for weeks, But when you do, it’s as if you didn’t even stop talking.” –

I’m constantly running into this saying, or something like it, online and it got me thinking.  While I do believe this is true in some aspects and for some individuals, I don’t know if I necessarily believe that this is relevant for me. 

Now in my late twenties, I can say with confidence that I’ve been blessed with great friends and family.  You quickly realize out of high school and in your early twenties, which friends are worth keeping and which you should, not necessarily kick to the curb, but definitely re-evaluate and distant yourself from.  In any event, I evaluated early on and have been fortunate enough to have a great circle of friends for a long time, which is perhaps exactly why I’m moved to write this excerpt on friends, expectations and growing into adulthood. 

A couple of different things/scenarios sparked my interest lately.   Allow me to begin with expectations.  Friendships, like any relationships, have certain expectations that should be met by both parties.  I’ve been known to have particularly high expectations of my few (2-3) best buds.  If you’re so, unbelievably close to a couple of friends who know your deepest, darkest secrets, have been with you through thick and thin and vice versa, I hold you, my friend, to higher standards and expectations than other, important, yet inconsequential friends, period.  Take it for what it is, it’s my truth and when you begin to let me down countless times, I’ll always give you the benefit of the doubt, you will get second, third, and a fourth chance, however don’t mistake my kindness for weakness.  I can see right through bullshit and countless inexcusable excuses.  Your BFF status with me is something we’re both very fortunate to have and like all relationships, these require work.  Work doesn't have to be as daunting as it sounds.  I’m not necessarily requesting your physical presence 1-2 times a week, not even necessarily once every two weeks, however – communication is some way, shape or form is exceptionally important.   If I’m thinking of you enough to shoot over a text, call, or send you a card in the mail, I’d hope you’d reciprocate that same gesture from time to time. 

Transitioning from close/best friends to merely, good friends, I’m perplexed by my countless effort to keep these relationships continuing when the effort is not reciprocated.  While my expectations of these good friends aren’t as high as my close friends, I don’t understand, at times, why I continue to reach out to certain individuals, when once again, it’s not reciprocated.  If I reach out to one of these good friends and never hear a response, or invite them to multiple events with no responses such as “yes, I’d love to come,” or “sorry can’t make it,” my last ditched efforts to maintain a close friendship with you, are quickly falling to a mere friendly acquaintance.  I can’t count on two hands how many times I’ve reached out to people I was once VERY close with and they’ve distanced themselves so much, that they don’t even acknowledge my effort, extremely disappointing and quite frankly, just plain rude.    However, if you are one of my close friends who at least has the decency to simply acknowledge my effort, I thank you for your common courtesy, however, you too are on the chopping block- for this two way street turns into a one way road far too often.  If I’m the one to always make arrangements for dinner, initiate texts, phone calls, etc… you’re beginning to help me realize that you’re too busy for my good friendship in your life.  I can understand and appreciate growing older, starting families, careers and meeting new friends, however I never wanted to leave you behind and I feel as if I was more disposable than you led me to believe. 

Whether you’re a close friend, good friend or a mere friendly acquaintance, allow me to add that your false assumptions do not constitute an excuse for not reaching out.   Are we 100% relatable, no.  Do I have children, no.  Do I like to go out, yes.  Do I work, yes.  Do I have several obligations, yes.  Do I have a lot on my plate, most times, yes.  HOWEVER, when given the option to take a call, reply to a text or attend an event that I was invited to, or simply given the opportunity to meet up for coffee, I think my willingness speaks loudly.  I always acknowledge efforts made by others, and while I’m not always able to answer a call, make it to an event or text back in seconds, you best believe I’ll reach back out to you in some way shape or form, after all, this my friends is not just the actions of a best/good friend, it’s in the simplest form, common courtesy.

Call this a rant if you will, I’m calling it an epiphany of a sort.  Looking at this in depth, I am saddened a little, however more so, I’m simply trying to make sense of how relationships can progress and regress so frequently and unapologetically.  I’m beginning to understand that focusing so much of time and attention to people that don’t reciprocate that attention, is not necessarily a waste of time, but rather unnecessary.  It is what it is.  I’m going to use this time to realize that I need to focus more time and attention on my family, my passions, my fiancé, new friends and those few old friends that still care enough maintain a friendship.   I’m beginning to realize that moving forward with new friends is at times the only option.  As a former Girl Scout, I can appreciate the “make new friends, keep the old,” however I’m only keeping you as close as your time, schedule, drive and want can accommodate.    The “I’m really busy” excuse, while not necessarily untrue in totality, it’s over abused and unnecessary.  If you’re as close to someone as you think you are, you make time for that person.  Allow me to reiterate, not necessarily physical time, but any sort of communication may be sufficient, dependent on circumstance.  Nonetheless, thank you for taking the time to read and I hope the solid relationships you do possess in your life continue to flourish.  I’ll leave you with a quote on friendship that is seemingly more apparent to me in my adulthood.

“A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often – just to save it from drying out completely.”