Live and let die.

My mind may very well be imploding. I've been dealing with inner turmoil for days, weeks, months, the last year damn near, and to that I've been silenced not only on paper but also in daily verbal communication with those I love and trust.  I've become somewhat of an inner hermit.   Not allowing myself to express my emotions, feelings and other such repercussions of inner turmoil has left me hanging in the balances of searching for somewhat normalcy.  It’s time I get back to do doing what makes me happy, I’ll begin with a new devotion to writing and reading. 

Do you ever find that you have so much on your mind that it’s hard to focus on daily tasks?  You’re left pondering life’s daily questions more often rather than just allowing things to happen organically?  This is my every day dilemma.  It consumes me.  Suffering from daily anxiety has caused me to become a prisoner in my own life. I, alongside other uncontrolled variables, are robbing me of happiness and it’s time to take a stand.

I’m quickly learning that it’s important in life to let go.  It’s impossible to be in control of everything that unfolds in life. It’s not until you learn to accept this, that you can truly begin living. I used to be much more forgiving of myself in the past than now in the present. The older I get, the more worrisome I've become.  It’s challenging to say the least.  That’s why I’m no longer going to play victim to myself and to those close in my inner circle. Holding onto the past and not having faith in the future is a recipe for disaster and I refuse to play the role of chef.  With help of others and primarily by having more confidence in myself, I vow to practice mindfulness, gratitude and an overall understanding that things always work themselves out in one way or another.  Pessimism is for the birds and moving forward in life requires a fair amount of optimism to proceed and to succeed.  I used to hold many regrets in life and now I want to move forward, forgive and just know that the Foo Fighters will go back on tour one day. ; ) 

Smiles, love and gratitude -  Lisa 

Learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Learning to talk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
- Grohl